So when I was little (and possibly littler than I should have been), I used to watch MTV at my grandma’s house. Back when MTV was actually music television and showed music videos. One of my absolute favorites was ZZ Top’s Legs. I loved that video! I would just sit and stare at those girls. And their outfits. And that car. And those socks at the 3:20 mark! (I’m bringing those back.) And how they were stickin’ it to the jerks giving them a hard time. I mean it’s 25 years later and I can still remember everything about it. Needless to say, five minutes of ZZ Top baddassery made quite the impression on me for life.
And it’s funny, because to this day, I still think about that video when I think about and look at my body.
I want those legs.
Alas, I will never have them. I’m only five-foot-four. I cannot grow six or eight inches; that’s physically impossible. I can, however, affect the size and shape of the legs that I have. That is very physically possible.
I can get stronger. I can gain muscle size. I can train and eat to take some fat off the top of those muscles. Make them appear longer on my frame. And ultimately, I can follow a program that will create the legs that I so covet. But, you know, shorter.
Now back up for a sec, because I know you’re starting to think this is getting a little superficial. But here’s the thing – I’m drawn to those legs because I’m drawn to this fierce female. What does she do in a span of four minutes? She realizes she’s freaking awesome, puts on her sassy pants, and shows everybody who ever made her feel small that they’re the losers.
It’s not about the legs. It’s about the attitude.
Yeah, I will always, always, want to rock short shorts and show off great, strong legs. Training legs will always be a physique priority for me. But I will also always rock some attitude first. That’s the kicker right there. If I’ve got a sh** attitude for the day, it doesn’t matter how good my legs look. To me, they won’t be good enough, and I’ll cover them up. But if I think for just a second about how the legs don’t matter, and how my inner badass does? I’m good to go.
Getting the metaphor here? Yeah, hot chicks are hot chicks. And usually we regular chicks want to be like them in some form or fashion. But when those hot chicks are actually kinda empowering too? That’s my kinda role model. I’m quite sure I tapped into that when I was younger, and it’s stayed with me. And you probably have a similar story. Maybe it’s Cher or Stevie Nicks or Britney Spears or Beyonce who made an impression on you. All smokin’ hot in their own ways. All trailblazers. We all tap into different physical and personality traits, and they leave their marks.
So, ZZ – y’all were way ahead of your time. My five-year-old and thirty-one-year-old selves thank you.
Oh, post script: Yes, of course I know the lyrics to this song are dirty and sexist and whatever. Whatever, I’m not a traditional feminist anyway. Take offense if you want, I like the video, and I’m cool with what it and the song says. It’s ZZ Top, people, let’s not take it too seriously. All their songs were dirty and sexist.
